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Shawn

Domain Squatters

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Posted by Shawn on October 30, 2007

Domain Squatting (or cyber-squatting): "Registering a domain with no intention of using it, one that would otherwise be used for a site relating to the domain in question." Domain Squatting Explained.

If you read my articles, then I introduced you guys to this back when I wrote 'I want my domain back.' Well, I pretty much have the same situation again except now with two names. Back when I made my battle game, Territory WAR, I briefly considered buying Territorywar.com to go along with it but decided against it. I released Territory WAR to the public on Newgrounds on March 23, 2006. Guess what was bought on March 27, 2006?

Four Days Later Four Days Later

I know it says that it expires this year but I think the info just needs updated, because I already tried getting the name when it 'expired.' I ended up trying out Godaddy.com's 'domain buy' service. Basically, you tell them what domain you want, they appraise it, you give a maximum and minimum bid, and they contact the current owners of the domain for negotiation. I didn't really want to pay someone for something that should be mine in the first place, that's what they want obviously, but I was curious nonetheless. Well, 'mine in the first place' isn't necessarily true, I believe anyone is entitled to any domain name as long as they use it legitimately. But territorywar.com was registered days after I released my game, and checking out the site gives us the classic result:

More like 'stole what I was looking for' More like 'stole what I was looking for'

In case you're wondering, no, a copyright doesn't entitle you to a domain name. I don't have a physical copyright (government issued) for any of my work, but the copyright exists, because that isn't necessary in the United States. Finished works are automatically copyrighted to their producer. A trademark, however, does entitle you to a domain name. Trademarking is a more involved and expensive process though.

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Posted to: Behind the Scenes, Rants
Shawn

Top Dog

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Posted by Shawn on August 22, 2007

Top Dog is a 1995 movie starring Chuck Norris. A movie in the sense that thousands of images are flashed at us, creating the illusion of movement. Because by the film industry's standards, Top Dog is less cohesive than a child's crudely drawn animation flipbook.

Licensed for action Licensed for action

Top Dog doesn't necessarily fail because of what it does, it fails because of what it tries to do. Top Dog is labeled as a 'family-friendly action thriller.' The plot is contrived, the action sequences are ridiculously unnecessary, and the subject matter is as far from family-friendly as you can get. Chuck and his dog Reno must undercover and bust an underground Neo-Nazi hate movement, and stop them from killing in the name of white power. If that wasn't bad enough, we often see the bad guys end up comedic 'home alone' style situations, whereas the good guys usually suffer bullet wounds to the face. What?

I know this is a "review", but I'm going to get pretty in-depth here, so beware of spoilers. Sorry, there's just too much that needs to be discussed when it comes to this cinematic train-wreck. Let's be honest, you weren't going to watch this movie anyway.

After the intro credits, Top Dog begins with an engaging rescue sequence. An apartment is on fire, and there's a baby trapped inside! The local firefighters must not have received training on such a far-fetched scenario, so it's up to Top Dog (Reno) to save the day. As Reno runs through the building, you'll notice that the perils he faces are all arranged in a 'dog obstacle course' fashion. No wonder the firefighers couldn't do it. As Reno races through the house we hear stock sound effects of a baby crying, because let's be honest- With the roaring fire and smoke, you wouldn't be hearing a damn thing. Oh, but Reno does. Soon enough Reno emerges from the house with what looks like a bag of coal wrapped in a towel. It's the baby of course, but they never actually try to explain how Reno managed to get the baby out of its crib, wrap it in a blanket, and safely escort it out of the house.

Just tricky enough for a movie dog! Just tricky enough for a movie dog!
No explanation needed No explanation needed
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Posted to: Rants, Reviews
Shawn

S-Video

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Posted by Shawn on August 3, 2006

This is an S-Video cable. Also known as the special step-child of the video cable connection family.

S-Video S-Video

What is an S-Video cable you ask? Well, first, a little history on video cable connections. First, we had the R/F switch. This was the singular coaxial line that connected many old vcrs and video game systems. It transmitted both audio and video over the same line and only supported mono speaker setup. Next came the highly popular and still used A/V cables. This was a set of three cables- two for audio and one for video. This supported a clearer picture and stereo sound. Then, we run into the S-Video cable. The S-Video cable was meant to replace the video portion of the older A/V cables. Two cables remained for sound, but the video quality was increased further when switched out for the S-Video cable. After S-Video came even better cables such as component and HDMI. But before I go on you're probably wondering, 'But what was so bad about S-Video if it had better quality?' It wasn't a matter of quality but rather design. Let's take a look at the connection ends for the various video cable connections available. Anything seem out of place?

Cable Comparison Cable Comparison

The S-Video cable is the only one that doesn't follow a uniform one pin/plug design. All of the other video cables can be inserted in any degree of rotation with no hassle. S-Video, however, must be lined up perfectly with the four pins you see sticking out.

I don't care what the pins mean I don't care what the pins mean

Was this pin design truly necessary? When planning the connection end for S-Video, did the designers actually think this would bring any kind of convenience? The worst part is that a majority of S-Video connections you'll be making are stuck behind the tv, dark and out of sight. This was hard enough trying to find the connector with just composite video cables. Now we have to find the connector and make sure it's turned the right way! I don't know about you but this has led to endless frustration on my part, having to finally resort to pulling the tv out and finding a flashlight to help carefully guide the connector in to place. The least they could have done was make the plug square, making it so there were only a few possible ways to mess it up. But that's too convenient.

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Posted to: Rants
Shawn

Cake Doughnuts

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Posted by Shawn on March 25, 2006

Take a look at the box below. Notice anything strange?

Mmmmm Mmmmm

Yeah, it's a variety pack of doughnuts. And you know what's left? The plain cake doughnuts. And you know why? Cake doughnuts suck. Barely even qualifying as a doughnut, cake doughnuts have forever plagued our doughnut variety packs. Almost everyone can admit to liking either white powdered doughnuts or cinnamon ones. But I've yet to be in a room where someone says "Man, a plain cake doughnut would sure hit the spot right now." Doughnut manufacturers could easily admit their mistake and stop producing them, but I think they have a little too much pride. It's estimated that thirty-seven tons of doughnut batter are wasted each year on plain cake doughnuts* which end up being thrown out or given to birds, who probably end up dying from the bad taste.

There is an easy solution to this, known to some as the 'glazed' doughnut. By simply covering the plain doughnut in a layer of sugar, we have a perfectly salvageable food item. Let's face it, a cake doughnut is just bread forced into a cylinder. They tried to hide this by calling it a 'cake' doughnut. But I see through their lies.

If I wanted cake I'd probably actually eat cake If I wanted cake I'd probably actually eat cake

Cake doughnuts are for the douche bags that think they're on a diet. If you're going to go as far to diet and eat doughnuts, you might as well put something good on them. AN OUNCE OF ICING WILL NOT KILL YOU, I PROMISE.

So until we do something about this, I don't think we'll ever rid ourselves of those dry and tasteless confections. Much like Lewis Black's commentary on candy corn, I believe there exists somewhere on this earth landfills full of cake doughnuts, that keep getting recycled and re-packaged into our lovely variety packs. Maybe they punish criminals by making them work in the cake doughnut factory. It's not like anyone is going to eat them, or steal and sell them.

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Posted to: Rants
Shawn

Adam Carolla is Not Funny

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Posted by Shawn on October 30, 2005
There's that funny, funny man! There's that funny, funny man!

Adam Carolla. A poor, misguided man in today's comedic world. It's not that I really ever had a problem with Adam, per se. He has always floated through the annals of late night telvision and B-list movie productions, almost becoming a staple of our nightly tv viewing experience. From Loveline to the Man Show, Adam has always... well.. been there. None of Adam's shows really grabbed me by the balls and forced me to watch, but they didn't cause me any pain either. That is, until Comedy Central decided to release...

Too Late With Adam Carolla

I have to pause from writing for a couple minutes, just so I can think of how to put this show into words. It's not something you can simply describe as "bad," or "annoying." It just fails for so many reasons. The first time I watched the show, I figured out the major one- Adam Carolla flops by himself. The man just isn't funny. He stutters, always has a half assed douche bag smile on his face, laughs at his jokes as he tries to communicate them, and drags his jokes on for too long. Every joke ends with a blank stare into the audience and some nonsensical hand gesture. And he continues. What Comedy Central failed to realise was that through Adam's past endeavors, he was always with someone. Dr. Drew, Jimmy Kimmel, or some random interviewer. Adam just does not function by himself.

Poor doctor Drew Poor doctor Drew

Not only does he deliver his jokes terribly, but they suck in the first place. Any comedian would be hard pressed to get a laugh out of these gems. Half the time Adam tends to stick to sexist jokes. Sexism can be funny, but it seems as if he is still trying to cling on to the tattered remains of his Man Show legacy. Yes Adam, you're a guy, and you think that women equal sex and food. Boobs boobs vagina. We get it. Now get some new damn material.

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Posted to: Rants
Shawn

I Want My Domain Back

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Posted by Shawn on October 29, 2005

I've had quite a few people say to me "Man, why did you have to put that hyphen in your web address? Why not just afroninja.com??"

Well, I'll tell you why:

Ooops! taken! Ooops! taken!

Yeah, that's why. Some douchebag dan out there owns "afroninja.com." Now, if he actually did something productive with it that would be acceptable. But let's see what dan has in store for us:

Amazing! Amazing!

Thanks dan, you have successfully taken my domain and done nothing with it. Now I will forever be plagued with "OMFG WHY DID U MAEK IT AFRO-NINJA.COM?!?!?!" Not only that, but there seems to be a trend with taking afroninja domains and doing nothing with them. Let's check in on afroninja.info!

Surprised? Surprised?

Oh well. Everything is so tailored to afro-ninja.com now that I wouldn't change it if I had the chance. I think it grew on me anyways :o


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Posted to: Behind the Scenes, Rants